Where To Seek Marriage Help

By Judy Miller


Avoid making the mistake most people do if you need marriage help. Don't talk to a member of the opposite sex about it unless that person is functioning in a professional capacity.

A woman believing that her husband isn't giving her as much attention as he should is one example. Talking to a male coworker about the situation is a bad idea even if he is considered as a dear friend. If he is sympathetic to her and they grow closer, more marriage problems are sure to follow. It would depend on the workplace, but talking about the woman's situation might be misconstrued as sexual harassment which is also never appropriate in the workplace.

Your spouse is the best person to talk to if you want to discuss marriage help. If that just is not possible - either because your spouse is not willing or because there is a chance you might be harmed for trying to talk about your problems and concerns - talk with a trained professional. To talk about your marriage problems, visit a counselor or minister. They know how to maintain your confidentiality and are trained to look at situations objectively.

If you don't know any counselor or minister or don't have one, you can look at your local phone book in order to discreetly find one. You can find several to call by searching under "counseling" or "marriage counselors." There are some communities that may even have counseling services that are free of charge for some situations. You may have a close friend who can confide in and you can ask them if they have heard anything about the counselors you find. When you are at work, you can always tell your coworkers that you have a friend who is looking for a counselor so you're asking around.

You need to go somewhere else if the advice you have received from the minister or counselor does not strike a chord with you. But it doesn't mean that you have to leave behind the advice if it's not what you are planning to hear. When you seek help for your marriage, you need to be open minded enough to accept that some of the responsibility or blame may be your own.

Remember, the first step to solving any marriage problem is to seek help. You and your spouse can go to a counselor together if this is something you have agreed on. After an initial meeting with the two of you together, the professional may prefer to see you individually. If you are both willing to find marriage help, you will need to be accommodating and adaptable as you work through your problems and the counseling process.




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